Quotes from 19 Oct through 30 Oct
You can live by design or by default.

Without clearly defined boundaries, consistently enforced, children and not parents rule the home.

Things are designed twice - once in the mind and then into the world.

Reality is an illusion. You perceive the world through your filters. Your filters ARE your reality. Change your filters, change your world.

Close the backdoors; move courageously ahead.

What you focus on expands. Choose wisely.

There is NO done. You are either accountable or you are not.

In the absence of clarity, people fill in the balnks.

Quotes from 13-15 October

The quality of your life is directly proportional to the quality of your relationships.

The three components of relationships are commitment, trust and communication.

Authentic trust is choosing to trust knowing broken trust is possible.  I trust myself if it occurs that I can rebuild the relationship by using trust-building tools.

Communication is the grease that makes relationships work.

I am whole and complete and work perfectly

There is no done.  You are either accountable or you are not.

The present
+ an attitude of gratitude
+ positive action
= my perfect (excellent) life

Betty Mahalik

Quotes from 5-9 October

I have started a new blog ruff_chronicles but will use this one to store my quotes for the week.

Completion and Integrity

Incomplete circle = Out of Integrity = broken agreements and promises - self-confidence and self-esteem are leaking out.

Complete circle = Integrity = Complete        

We are whole and complete and work perfectly.  - presupposition of coaching (POC)

There is a purpose for EVERYTHING.

What you could do is find out what is that silver lining?

What you resist persists.  principle of the training (POT)

When you change the way you look at things the things you look at change - Dr. Dyer

Every behavior is useful in some context. - presupposition of coaching (POC)


My quotes from last week
Enrollment is ...

the act and practice of lighting a spark of possibility for others to share.  That is from The Art of Possibility.

always occurring.  You are either being enrolled or enrolling others in the way that it is.  I have heard this said by my mentors.  I am not sure where it comes from.

about who you are.  How willing are you to go along to get along?  You are easily enrolled.  How willing are you to take a stand?  You are enrolling.  All my life I have been the one being enrolled.  Therefore, I do not have the life that I want.  To generate that, I must be willing to take a stand for what I want.

There is NO done.  You are either accountable or you are not.  This one is mine.  I made this up.  In my languaging, I keep saying that, "I am almost there.  Just wait.  I am almost there."  The truth is - I will never be there.  There is no other place but here.  I can either choose to be accountable for the choices that I have made and learn from them or I can choose not to.  There is no other conversation to have.  I will never be done.  I will never be perfect.

(But) when we realize that no one is coming to save us, or do it for us, and that our old wounds are there whether we love them or hate them, then we realize that we're the ones who have to fulfill our potential.  --  Debbie Ford (p. 161, DSLC)  I picked this one again.  I have not owned this one yet.

I am becoming certified to coach relationships
It has been several weeks since I have posted.

I am currently enrolled in a Relationship Coaching certification program.  The training was last Thursday through Sunday.  For the next 13 weeks or so, I will be coaching my 2 practice clients through the 10 Track Relationship Coaching workbook.

My intention is to post some of the things that I am learning about relationships and coaching on my blog weekly.

This week, I am learning about what it takes to be in enrollment.  Here's my situation.  I am enrolling 2 practice clients to coach through the process.  I have one.  I am in search of another.  I really wanted to coach someone that I met at work and I contacted her a month ago.  We were in email communication and then I couldn't reach her for a couple weeks.  When I got back from my weekend, I decided to call her.  We spoke for about 10 minutes about the program

Here are some of the things that we talked about:
It is a 12 week commitment.  What you are committing to is to be coached by me through the relationship coaching workbook.  What I will be getting is a certification.  What you will be getting is coaching that once I am certified will go for $1800 to improve and solidify your relationships.  At some point in the call, she asked me, "So why me?  Is there something about me that you think I need to fix?"  I replied, "No.  Everyone could use this work.  I am giving this to you as a gift.  I like you and wanted you to have it."  I also told her that she would be required to be recorded.  I promised that only my peers and mentors involved in the training would listen to the calls.  The purpose of recording 2 calls would be for me to be able to get feedback as a coach.  I then explained that feedback would be something that we would cover.  I explained that a mentor of mine says, "that the eye cannot see itself.  The only way for you to know what the color of your eyes (without looking in a mirror) is for someone to tell you."  With feedback, you can make adjustments in what is not working and have the life you want.  I got an agreement that she would do it and that she would be in it for the entire 12 weeks.  We hung up the phone.

I felt proud of myself and contacted all my other possible clients that I had my 2 practice clients.  Whew!  I was glad that was over.

Less than 24 hours later, I received an email that said that she was too busy and not interested.  She apologized for agreeing and then saying know.  I responded that I understood and I still liked her.

It has been 5 days since then and I have been thinking.  Enrollment involves coaching the potential client to say yes to their lives.  It is not about the story that they tell to avoid having the life they want.

Empowering Thoughts of the Day
I am feeling depleted and a lack of energy.  I changed the quotes on my big whiteboard.

If it is to be, it is up to me.

Accountability - I am the source of EVERYTHING that occurs in my life.  This can be very empowering if you choose.  If what I have is not what I want, I can change it.  I am the source.

Accountability Formula - STOP.  LOOK.  What am I creating?  What attitude, assumption, or belief generated my results?  Is it the result that I want?  If it is, great!  Keep it up!  If not, Choose.  Declare the new stand!  Choose a new attitude!  Believe it is possible!  Do It.  Take chances.  Make mistakes.  Get messy.  (Thanks Cami)  Step Left.  Reassess.  How are your results now?  Stop. Look.  Go again.

The quote on my small whiteboard remains the same.

When you take responsibility for the events in your life and for your interpretation of those events, you step out of the world of a child and into the world of an adult.  --  Debbie Ford

Reactive versus Proactive Language

I have a challenge for you.  Over the next 7 days, pay attention to the language that you use.  Is it empowering or disempowering language?  How does it make you feel – better or worse? 


Chances are that if you are feeling disempowered and without energy, you are using reactive language.  Some examples are:

There is nothing I can do.

That is just the way that I am.

He (She) makes me so mad.

They won’t allow that.

I have to do that.

I can’t …

I must …

If only …


If you are feeling energized and powerful, you are using proactive language.  Some examples are:

Let’s look at our alternatives.

I can choose a different approach.

I can control my own feelings.

I can create an effective presentation.

I will choose an appropriate response.

I choose …

I prefer …

I will …


If you notice yourself using reactive language, STOP IT!  Make a different choice.  Make agreements with the people around you to notice when you are being a victim (reactive) and give them permission to point it out to you.  Change is easier when you are supported or you do it together.


Have fun!

Quotes for Next Week
Vision and Action generates Results  --  Barbara Fagan

Assumptions are the termites of relationships  -- Henry Winkler

Empty your mind; be formless, shapeless - like water. Now you put water into a cup, it becomes the cup, you put water into a bottle, it becomes the bottle, you put it in a teapot, it becomes the teapot. Now water can flow or it can crash. Be water, my friend.  --  Bruce Lee

Personal leadership is the ongoing process of keeping your vision and values before you and aligning your life to be congruent with those most important things.  --  Stephen Covey

When you take responsibility for the events in your life and for your interpretation of those events, you step out of the world of a child and into the world of an adult.  --  Debbie Ford (DSLC, p. 119)

* I have these quotes on my whiteboard.  They surround me and I focus on them throughout the week.

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My Quotes from Last Week

I just erased my quotes from last week.  To the best of my recollection, they were:

Forgiveness is choosing to love. It is the first skill of self-giving love.  --  Mahatma Gandhi

Forgiveness is the fragrance that the violet sheds on the heel that has crushed it.  --  Mark Twain

Projection - If a person or thing in the environment informs us, we probably aren't projecting; on the other hand, if it affects us, chances are we are a victim of our own projections.  --  Ken Wilbur, Meeting the Shadow

Love ...

Coach Robert
Bridging the gap from where you are to where you want to be
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My Quotes for This Week
Each week, I post on my white boards in my office inspirational quotes to surround myself with.  I find the process very uplifting.  My quotes for this week are:

You can become an even more excellent person by constantly setting higher and higher standards for yourself and then by doing everything possible to live up to those standards.  --  Brian Tracy

Breath is the bridge that connects life to consciousness, which connects your body to your thoughts.  --  Thich Nhat Hanh

Vision without action is a dream.  Action without vision is simply passing the time.  Action with Vision is making a positive difference.  --  Joel Barker

If it is to be, it is up to me.  --  William H. Johnson

(But) when we realize that no one is coming to save us, or do it for us, and that our old wounds are there whether we love them or hate them, then we realize that we're the ones who have to fulfill our potential.  --  Debbie Ford (p. 161, DSLC)

Love ...

Coach Robert
Bridging the gap from where you are to where you want to be
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